Nick K. Choate

Founder & Director of THRIVE Counseling Group and THRIVE Counseling and Workshops

LPC-MHSP, CSAT, HOCII, DARTT, EMDR, TN State Board Supervisor

Session Details:

  • Individual/Telehealth/Partner-Present:

    • $200, 50-min session

  • Intensives: $550 half-day (3-hrs)/$1100 full-day (6-hrs)

  • Groups - Cost per group is listed within details of the group

  • Supervision:

    • $165, 60-min Individual

    • $165, 120-min Triad

    • $30, Group Supervision/ Case Consultation

  • Phone - (615) 852-8281

  • Email - nick@thrivecw.org

PERSONAL BIO:

Nick is a graduate of Trevecca Nazarene University where he received his Master’s degree in Clinical Counseling (MA) and is an alumnus of Union University, in Jackson, TN, where he studied Psychology & Christian Studies. Nick is the Director of the THRIVE Counseling Group family and the founder THRIVE Counseling & Workshops. Nick specializes in providing individual counseling, groups, workshops, intensives and speaking engagements for young and adult men wanting help addressing men’s health issues, struggles with compulsive sexual addictions and intimacy disorders, and healing from painful family or early childhood events due to enmeshment, abuse or trauma.

EDUCATION & TRAINING:

A LITTLE ABOUT NICK:

Nick is married to is bride and best friend Brandy Lea for over 14-years. They are "Westies" residing in West Nashville with their two English Bulldogs, Duncan Donut and Delilah Doolittle. Nick has recently become a father to a handsome, rambunctious, and “full of life” little baby boy, Cooper Jackson (CJ). When Nick is not providing care to his clients, leading groups and workshops, or wrestling baby-man to a nap, you can usually find him in one of a few places: RV-ing with his family, spending time outdoors exercising, trail running, camping, rock climbing or kayaking; practicing yoga and mindfulness; having coffee and reading a good book; wood- or leather-working; or gardening and running his tower farm business.

NICK’S MESSAGE TO MEN AND THEIR FAMILIES:

Men, we’re expected to carry a lot on our shoulders! Whether its stress, frustrations, anger, work, school, family, relationships, you name it! And those things are not supposed to bother us. Why is that? Where did you learn that’s how you’re supposed to be? Oh, and aren’t we only supposed to drive the best car or truck, be the smartest man in the room, only make a certain amount of money, and have a certain type of woman standing next to us?

We play these roles we were told to play, attempt to fix other people’s problems and cater to everyone else’s needs all while stuffing what we need deep down. And, when it all finally takes its toll on us, because it always does, we say things like, “I’m tired. I just need to rest.” That’s when we know our mask is crumbling. We turn to things to help us numb out or distract us from what is really going on: porn, sex, alcohol, food, video games, sports, exercise, work, you name it. Why? Because, in retrospect, those things worked for us in the past. At one time they were an answer(s) to help us through some really tough times in our lives. And they work…REALLY well! But now those things are just causing us problems. Allow me to note, there’s nothing inherently wrong with some of those things but it’s how we’ve learned to use or rely on them that has compounded many of our problems.

In truth those “things” can actual be windows into what our hearts deeply desire most. But, instead of them being something to enjoy, savor or bring us life, now they just making matters worse and they’ve left a gaping hole where our hearts use to be. They’re getting in the way of us making real connections with ourselves, others and our spirit. What can be done?

My name is Nick, and I specialize in working with men and their families seeking help with their emotions and mental battles and are seeking assistance with the recovery of their hearts!

Don’t ask a man, “Why the addiction?” Ask him, “What’s the pain?” ~ Gabor Mate

I help men and their partners:

  • Address problems with stress, anxiety and depression due to boundary issues or lack of values;

  • Address addiction(s) and/or unwanted behaviors around compulsive sex, pornography, masturbation, paying for sex, intimacy, healthy attachment, food, work, alcohol, and money;

  • Problems with setting healthy goals and maintaining internal focus and motivation;

  • Reoccurring problems or issues with enmeshed family members, problematic boundaries with friends and intimate relationships, and work-related boundaries;

  • 12-steps work and Recovery Coaching;

  • Family-of-Origin problems due to a history of complex trauma, abuse, or emotional/mental/physical violence that could be affecting your understanding of your True Self;

  • Male Survivors of sexual abuse;

  • Practicing and developing skills that reflect your values and goals.

My role as your therapist is to help you:

  • Get a clearer understanding of WHAT IS actually happening; often it’s not what we think or perceive things to be. Instead, we’re more likely to focus on what we are comfortable talking about or addressing. But, with some guidance, curiosity and compassion we can become a little more aware and a lot more connected with our deeper needs.

  • To help you gain perspective and see the array of pieces that make you, YOU; PSA: you’re not broken, you’re not messed up, you’re not f*cked up or something that is needing to be repaired or fixed! You’re hurting and your nervous system has developed a set of skills that has helped you to survive till today. Sadly, those skills are no longer effective with your current relationship(s) and need to be cared for in a real and authentic way.

  • Consistently remind and encourage you that you’re NOT your past mistakes, choices, or addiction(s), instead reflect on the steps you are taking to heal, reconnect, and grow.

  • Help you to understand you are not your family’s problems or the one who’s responsible for fixing everything for them.

I want to help you see: your experience’s assisted you, shaped and molded you, into developing roles you could play to stay safe and still get the bare minimum of what you needed. The roles we learn to play help us manage life, work, relationships, family, friendships and other stressful events with as little pain or discomfort as possible.

When you’ve spent the majority of your life playing these different roles, unbeknownst to us, we become something called “fragmented”. This often leaves us feeling disjointed and disconnected from some of the most important areas of life, like our feelings, thoughts, wants and needs; we are left questioning our value, safety, humanness, and value. It’s as if we’ve had electricity running rampant throughout our bodies for years with nowhere for it go. Eventually, that electricity has to be grounded so we can release it and come back to life. But we’ve learned and worked so hard at holding it in that we don’t know how to let go of it.

That’s where I can come in!

Our work makes room for these “experiences and roles” to show up, help you begin to understand them, then, work with them to change them. I'll introduce you to tools that can help get you “grounded” and reconnected to the areas that matter most to you. Using approaches like: Internal Family Systems (IFS), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Experiential Exercises to understand the roles you’ve played, Mindfulness and body-work to help you reconnect and maintain your connecting to what you’re feeling and other sensations that may show up so you can understand what they mean, wisdom from sacred texts and The 12-Steps materials to help you have a healthy, wise path for healing, and Task-oriented practices to provide you with tangible, objective activities and goals where you can measure and actually see where change happening.

I know all too well the residual effects addiction, trauma and family can take on in a person’s life. Being born and raised till I was nine in the Oklahoma heartland of the Cherokee reservations will remind me of all of that very quickly. Thankfully, when was 10 my grandparents stepped in and started raising my brothers and me. We had a chance to start a new life, in a new home, in a new place. Are there still memories? Certainly! Our work is never done, but I’ve also experienced a lot of healing, renewed trust, and gratitude, and I’ve learned tools for the recovery journey I have been able to travel. Now I want to pass those gifts forward to you. I’ll have the pleasure to walk with and get to know you.

If I can assist you in any way, please let me know through our website, email or phone call, or let the kind folks at THRIVE Counseling Group know you would like to meet with me. It would a pleasure to connect with you and help you Heal, Reconnect, and Grow so you can THRIVE!

Schedule with Nick

Please complete the form below to schedule an appointment. We will do our best to accommodate your request and will be in touch within 48-hours.